The thoughts in my brain are bouncing around so fast, clanging against the inside of my skull, begging for release. But I'm sitting here, stuck in some sort of Life-Limbo, unable to free them.
I've no motivation, no inspiration and no energy to fight anymore. After a particularly rough week, with the return to school looming like a black storm cloud on the horizon, I can't pull myself out of this pit I've stumbled into. Every moment of focus saps energy, and it's easier to just throw up my hands and concede that there's no climbing out.
To me, this summer of inaction has been a curse. Now I can't decide if it's worse to continue in this vein, or to actually make some sort of effort. Deep down, I somehow know that going back to school is going to be a challenge. There are things that won't be able to stay unsaid, in so many different ways and I find myself panicking at the very thought.
But it may be that going back is the only thing that can pull me out of this funk. A vine is being lowered and I can curl up and ignore it, or grab it and hold on for dear life.
There's still time, though. For the moment, I'm satisfied to climb onto the roof with a bottle of soda and watch the stars. I'm content to linger in this place of inaction for a few more days.
