The Musings of a Lonely Insomniac

I should be working. There are a million things, all lying undone, screaming for my focus. Some are in need of desperate attention. The word deadline pounds through the back of my mind, an almost-physical reminder of everything that has to be finished, or even started.

I could be sleeping. Taking advantage of these dark hours between dusk and dawn, the way the rest of the world does. Shutting off mental and physical facilities just long enough for them to recuperate for tomorrow. But Insomnia leaves me out in the dark, like a long-abandoned animal that still doesn't understand what's happened.

Nighttime pensiveness is stealing over me again. It happens time after time. I could be productive. I could rest. But there's something inherently magical about the twinkle of stars--some sense of breathless anticipation waiting on the edge of the brisk winter air. Aloneness and silence make a girl strangely thoughtful and every sense sets on edge.

Perhaps that is why I fear not the night, but you in the night. To take my innermost moments, and to find someone else is there to witness them is terrifying. Least of all because the idea is not completely repulsive. Somewhere inside of me, something stirs and a burning settles in the tips of my fingers--a desire to touch, to share, to express. I don't know what's happening; we could be anywhere and anyone--all it takes is a drop of darkness. All it takes is a little midnight...

And suddenly the dream vanishes like a wisp of smoke and I'm staring up at the black velvet sky, alone again. But, for the first time, I find myself desiring you to share it with.